so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Randomize
