You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
