Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
