Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
