I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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