He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
