A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Randomize
