how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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