Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
