I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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