Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
What drink are we having for lunch?
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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