And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize