i just google imaged poop.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Everyone says I win the strip club
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
