shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
