just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
