My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
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I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
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Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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