I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Damn victory sex feels great
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
