Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize