After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
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Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
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Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
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