At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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