you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
