so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
