Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
