she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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