Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
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