Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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