Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
Randomize