The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
