I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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