you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Randomize
