his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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