Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
