I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
