i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Randomize
