it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
