Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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