Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
