there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Randomize
