i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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