I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
So gin and wine won't be happening again
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
