whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Randomize
