the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
