So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
