I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
