You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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