the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
