my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Randomize
