Umm I'm too high to move.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I will be naked everywhere
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
