I can tuck mytits in my pants
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
my liver is dry heaving
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
