I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
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I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
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You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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