Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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