Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
