I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize