Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
