You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Drunk walkin through police station. America
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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