I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize