I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
