Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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