oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Randomize
