you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
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