Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
