I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
