i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
