I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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