i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
